Happy new year, I'm breaking up with you
Bliss
Little backstory here… about 2 months ago I met a girl. She was visiting from Ireland. We both knew that so we figured let’s just have a fun date. We went out for a drink and had quickly spent the whole night together, enjoying every moment of it. So we went out again the next day. And the next. What started as a simple drink turned into a three day date. She flew out, headed to her work event, but we stayed in touch and made plans for her to stay with me in a few weeks before another work event. She came and we enjoyed another four incredible days together, making dozens of great memories over the time. Now it really felt serious. I liked this girl, I wanted to keep seeing her. This time, it was my turn to visit. We’d discussed the idea of me making a trip to Ireland after Christmas and were both enthusiastic. So I bought the flight, a 10 day trip with Ireland, Barcelona, and London on the itinerary. A dream. She revealed an itinerary for the Ireland segment that she had already made, it was incredible — a hotel stay, visiting some local spots, touring her college, new years with her friends, and much more. We bought tickets to a Chelsea game in London and Hamilton on the West End the following night. This was going to be perfect.
Fast forward to December 29th. After three weeks of FaceTimes and building excitement, it was flight day. I arrived in Dublin and it was perfect. We immediately hit Guinness Storehouse for a tour and it was like we never missed a beat. I was falling for this girl hard. I loved her smile, her touch, her humor, everything. I saw a future with her. I felt so lucky. The trip continued in that manner. We enjoyed a wonderful new year’s eve dinner together and then went to a party with her friends to ring in the new year. It was a dream.
Storm clouds
We woke up January 1st and had to check out of the hotel. We were hungover, moving slowly. We checked out, left our bags, and strolled around the city center for a few hours just taking in the day before heading to her place for the night. Tomorrow, we’d fly out to Barcelona.
We got to her place, put on a show we’d been watching together over FaceTime and lazed away the night in a hangover recovery. Something started to feel off though. She felt distant. She had always had bad hangovers so I didn’t think too much of it and mainly just enjoyed the show and cuddled her before we eventually went to bed.
Tragedy strikes
After a sleep that felt distant (compared to arm in arm cuddling of all the other nights) and a morning of the same, I asked her if she was ok - figuring maybe she was feeling sick. At that point, she responded that she was feeling overwhelmed and essentially couldn’t get on this Barcelona flight. We spoke and it soon became clear that she didn’t want this relationship and was breaking up with me. Good morning. So rather than packing for Barcelona, I was looking for flights back to the USA that day. Good morning. While I couldn’t get one that day, since it was already 10am, I booked one for the next day and found myself on an Aer Lingus flight that next morning. At the time, I was numb. I liked that girl so much and it seemed like so many visions I had for the future just collapsed into dust before I could even comprehend what happened. There’d be no Barcelona, no London, none of the future plans we’d talked about, nothing. It was over.
Recovery
I got through the day of the breakup and the flight the following day. I felt numb the whole time. I was trying to process the collapse. I landed and my brother picked me up from the airport. I was thankful. I went home to him, his wife, and my nephew. It was good to be immediately surrounded by loved ones. It helped. Over the next few days I continued to think about her, our memories, and what happened. It still stings and it’s still hard to process but time helps, I feel better already. I’ve accepted the reality and know in time I’ll be back to normal, ready to put myself out there again.
For now I’ll work on myself, I’ll stick close to my friends and family, I’ll do things I love and explore new things, I’ll continue to live. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine my year starting this way but that’s life. It’s devastating but it’s not the end of the world. I will be okay. Besides, the year can only get better from here, right? (furiously knocking on wood)